A disorderly collection of passing thoughts, insights, and short stories inspired by true events at my gym.

—

Treadmill etiquette ought to be treated no differently than urinal etiquette.

• At minimum, leave one vacant machine as a courtesy buffer between yourself and the nearest person
• Keep your eyes forward
• No small talk
• For the welfare and protection of yourself and your cohorts, under no circumstances is offering a handshake appropriate

—

Finding out the gorgeous man by the squat rack thinks you’re cute:
Like waking up on Christmas morning

Finding out the gorgeous man by the squat rack thinks you’re cute…when you’re in a relationship:
Like waking up on Christmas morning and reminding myself I’m Jewish

Finding out twenty-three minutes into a painfully one-sided conversation with the gorgeous man by the squat rack that the shallowest brooks babble loudest:
Like telling my entire first grade class Santa isn’t real

—

When a skinny woman fears weight training because she doesn’t want to get “too big”, it’s like an overweight woman fearing weight loss because she doesn’t want to get “too skinny.”  Neither extreme is healthy, but it’s equally as challenging to achieve a physique on either end of the spectrum.  Getting swole takes as much discipline, consistency, and determination as getting slim.

—

Gotta run!