1. Wash your hands often.
2. Clean all “high-touch” surfaces, such as counters, doorknobs, bathroom fixtures, phones, keyboards, remote controls, and steering wheels with disinfectant sprays or wipes.
3. Cover your nose and mouth with a tissue or your elbow crease when you cough or sneeze.
4. Make a conscious effort not to touch your face, mouth, and eyes.
5. Iron the pile of pants you’ve had draped over your desk chair since last Tuesday that were too clean for the hamper, but too dirty for the closet.
6. If you have a fever or don’t feel well, limit activities outside your home except to get medical care.
7. Don’t share personal items such as drinking glasses, eating utensils, and towels.
8. Don’t leave a clump of hair in the shower drain.
9. Stop using “literally” as word filler, particularly in figurative statements.
10. Wash your hands often…with soap.
11. Use hand sanitizer to clean your hands when soap and water aren’t available.
12. As a courtesy to others, don’t leave the toilet seat up because baptizing a booty cheek in ice cold eau de toilette at 3AM during your nightly “one-eye-closed, other-eye-squinted-so-you-don’t-wake-all-the-way-up” bathroom ritual is as startling as it is unsanitary.
13. Avoid shaking hands with someone who has visibly soiled hands or an active cough.
14. Avoid holding hands with slow walkers on crowded sidewalks because some of us have PLACES TO BE.
15. Reconsider non-essential travel to areas where there’s a high incidence of illness and limited access to proper medical care.
16. When you finish making a sandwich, put the twist tie back on the loaf of bread; don’t just twirl n’ tuck the open end of the plastic sleeve under the remaining slices before you stuff it back into the pantry.
17. Call ahead before routine or sick visits with your healthcare provider to see if they recommend taking any precautions to prevent catching or spreading illness.
18. Wash your hands often….and don’t neglect the backs of your hands, between your fingers, your fingernails, or your thumbs.
19. Ask yourself when you last replaced your toothbrush. If you can’t remember, you should know I am judging you a little.
20. Ask yourself when you last got an oil change. If you can’t remember, you should know you are in good company because, same.
21. Consider walking in lieu of taking densely populated public transportation or using ride-sharing services for local trips to reduce your risk of exposure to respiratory droplets and other germs.
22. When the draining board is full, put away the dry dishes rather than artfully stacking wet dishes on top of them like a high stakes Jenga game.
23. Call your parents and tell them you were just kidding about the oil change thing.
24. Wash your hands often…for the entire length of the “Happy Birthday” song. But sing it in your head, because awkwardly sitting through someone singing Happy Birthday to you is universally the worst.
25. Thoroughly clean outdoor coats, hats, and gloves.
26. Tell a friend to stop watching their ex’s Instagram stories.
27. Walk your empty shopping cart back to the carriage return rather than rolling it across the Target parking lot like you’re bowling for pigeons.
28. If you are at an increased risk for infection (i.e., immunosuppressed, elderly, pregnant, etc.), consider wearing a protective mask and gloves in public.
29. If you have been advised to wear disposable face masks or gloves, safely dispose of them after a single use. Never reuse them.
30. Always be kind to people who work in service industries.

And if all else fails, remember to wash your hands.

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